When it’s time to stop writing about your child

May 18, 2009 · 16 comments

You may have noticed that Violet Posy has been a little Miss L free of late and here’s why.  You know when they’re little and you forget that they can talk and the odd swear word pops out and next time your toddler drops something you hear a baby voice saying ‘Oh Shit!’.  Well I forgot she can read,  yes I know stupid of me. My daughter has a reading age of eight but it just didn’t occur to me that she could read my Facebook update.

We’d had one of those days where she’d been a mini teenager, refused to do any of her homework, made a massive mess and had done her best to wind me up all day.  So come evening I was frustrated beyond belief and at the end of my tether so I’d put on my Facebook update something along the lines of ‘Does anyone want an annoying child?’.

She read it

She cried

A LOT

and told me I’d humiliated her.

I felt totally awful. Like many other Mum’s I don’t think when I pop something in Facebook,  Twitter or on here. She’s my child and I write about her.  It never occurred to me that she’s her own person and might not want the world to know about something cute/embarrassing she’s done.  So from now on if I have something I want to write on the blog about her;  I ask if it’s ok and if it’s not I don’t. I also try not to put anything on Facebook or Twitter about her either.  She’s her own person now and not my baby anymore so I have afford her that respect.

So here’ s my public apology – Miss L I’m so very sorry and Mummy loves you very much xx

 

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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

OMG We're Pregnant May 18, 2009 at 5:31 pm

That’s very noble of you …

You never know, she may want to contribute to your blog, or create her own “The problem with mummy…” ha ha ha!!!

OMG We’re Pregnant’s last blog post..I’m happy your pregnancy will make you fat!

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Liz May 18, 2009 at 5:35 pm

I suspect she’s got a tell all blog in the works – she does have a hidden blog to help her writing comprehension, and she did recently ask for a computer…….help! :)

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Jenna @ Newlyweds May 18, 2009 at 6:13 pm

Wow, that is so true, and shows that you are a great mom. And yes sounds like you should encourage her writing abilities.

Jenna @ Newlyweds’s last blog post..I’ll Never live it down

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Melanie Trevleyan May 18, 2009 at 6:29 pm

Sounds like you two have a great relationship, Heather has a reading age of 6 and is frequently looking over my shoulder so I suspect I will have to take the same route soon, sound s like a great way to encourage her writing skills. Good luck with the computer thing!

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teresa May 18, 2009 at 7:09 pm

Oh my, I wonder if I need to worry about that with my adult children =)
good way to handle the situation- way to be.

teresa’s last blog post..Adventures in remodeling- and a few Random things.

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Inchirieri Masini May 18, 2009 at 9:04 pm

Interesting sotry !

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PS~Erin May 18, 2009 at 10:41 pm

The reading thing has gotten us into a bit of a predicament before too. We used to spell things aloud to be incognito and that doesn’t work either anymore.

PS~Erin’s last blog post..Meal Planning Monday

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Momcat May 19, 2009 at 6:30 am

Well done. Respecting our kids as individuals is the major step to creating a wonderful relationship with them for the rest of your lives.

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Coding Mamma (Tasha) May 19, 2009 at 7:02 am

Gosh. That is something we all need to think about in this day and age, I suppose, with blogs and Flickr images and Facebook and so on and so on. In the past, mums would embarass their children by getting out their baby pictures and showing them to boyfriends/girlfriends. When our children are grown-up, any prospective partners will have already seen all the photos, when the googled them!

As you say, it’s very important to remember that our children are individuals in themselves, with rights to privacy.

I hope Lily is happy to share some of her adventures in growing up with us all, but if not, we’ll be happy with pretty house pictures!

Coding Mamma (Tasha)’s last blog post..Talking to pre-school staff

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Mel May 19, 2009 at 8:36 am

Hi, first time visiting your blog! Poor Lily, I’m dreading the day my kids can read! I’m sure she’s forgiven you though :)

Love your French Market pics, reminds me so much of being on holiday in Nice with the Provençal fabrics and things *sigh*

Mel (shabby chick) xxx

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Tara@Sticky Fingers May 19, 2009 at 8:55 am

Wow, that’s a bit of a wake up call!
I have read some blogs and do wonder what their children would think if they could read some of the things their parent says about them.
It’s mostly teenagers to be honest and I guess it’s mums and dads venting. But still, if their children should read it I would imagine HUGE rows afterwards!

Tara@Sticky Fingers’s last blog post..Green

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Mel May 19, 2009 at 10:40 am

Thanks for coming to visit me! I just realised what I wrote above sounds terrible, I’m not anti my kids learning to read but I’m not looking forward to situations like what happened with your daughter (just in case you thought I was going to enforce illiteracy!).

Mel xxx

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Maternal Tales May 20, 2009 at 1:05 pm

Aah poor you and poor Lily too. Lily – if you’re reading this – Mummy loves you very much!! Yes, Liz I think I may have written something similar on Facebook myself – I may evenhave asked if anyone wanted to adopt my children! But of course…we never really mean it! We just want empathy… xxx

Maternal Tales’s last blog post..Two children are harder than one!

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katherine May 20, 2009 at 10:59 pm

Gosh…never thought of that. My sig.other gave my Lily her own blog (Lilys Pictures) but yes, a sophisticated reading age and Facebook/Twitter aren’t always a good combination!!

katherine’s last blog post..

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paola May 27, 2009 at 6:43 pm

Thanks for the wake up call… I’m always writings things like that on my status (I wonder why?) and L can now read and I know she’d be mortified… must become a better mother…

paola’s last blog post..Adventures in Knitting – Spring Things

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Linda September 23, 2009 at 10:08 am

Must have been dreadful, oh, I hope it was soon forgotten. Bet it was. It’s like something you would say out loud in front of them and feel bad after and want to take it back, wish you’d never said it. But it’s unrealistic for any child to think their mum can be sweetness and light all the time….er, isn’t it?

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